Mental Unhealth

Mental health without medication...

Has anyone out there ever tried to get some more of their meds after "foolishly" running out, only to find it impossible??? I didn't really want this to be the subject of my first post but it looks like I'm going to be fighting this fight a while longer, so it might as well be. I am frustrated at how little the health care system can do for me when I actually reach out and ask for help - which is NOT easy to do! I owned my mistakes (not getting refills taken care of earlier), my weaknesses (not being able to handle the whole process of getting my refills taken care of lol) and said, "I am here to ask for help because I know I need it, this is what you people are always telling us to do" - The answer was "Nope, can't help you, our hands are tied" or "It's been too long since you filled" or "I can give you THREE PILLS.." (for the next THREE weeks while I wait for my appointment??), or "Why don't you try here..?" (*tries here and there and everywhere they send me and NOBODY will give an interim amount of meds to last until your next appointment so that you don't go crazy or worse. Siiiigh....

If you've ever been or are currently in this position, I feel for you. Very much. I can't imagine what it would be like if my illness were more severe, like schizophrenia or suicidal ideation.

So. The survival part, I guess. Some days I don't do well. I am SO angry, so down on myself, so bored and frustrated with EVERYTHING! Some days I am nice to myself and sit on the porch in the sun with my plants. Sometimes I can keep myself busy with things that I find comfort in or talk to someone about how I'm feeling and that helps bide the time. Some days I just sleep or zone out of my brain watching videos or playing a phone game.

I haven't had my antidepressant for a few weeks. It was also prescribed for anxiety. I feel like I'm floating on a raft at sea. That I've been entertaining myself, keeping myself sane, waiting for the rescue ship to come. But it's not funny anymore and I need to get back to land. I got a message in a bottle, but it said, "Wait 3 1/2 more weeks and we'll be there...!", lol. I'ma hafta have some hella patience and creativity with this one.. Well! I always wondered how I was gonna survive in the apocalypse without medication! I guess now we'll find out! I'll keep you updated.

:)